comings and goings.

It would be strange to relate what we did yesterday. I mean, it definitely sounds strange - it isn't what 'normal' people do. We were parked in a car park, eating lunch as you do, watching the river Thames go by quite nicely, although it wasn't exactly a lovely day. It just so happened that we were parked in Cowey Sale car park, right next to Walton Bridge - anyone not from this area will not know the gravity of those two words: Cowey & Sale. Named because it was the spot where the Anglo-Saxons used to cruise along the river, pull up, and sell small herds of livestock to traders... That isn't true, it's a lie. I don't really know why it's called that at all. Maybe I'll find out one day. Anyway, the gravity, people, the gravity of this Cowey Sale domain. Well it's basically just a massively well known spot for what people call 'gay cruising', but not just that, dogging, cottaging, tea-rooming, etc. etc. The latter two happen in the public toilets placed in a very shady area near the bridge. A perfect spot really. You wonder why it was ever closed in the first place.

It was closed? you ask. Oh yes it was. But why? you ask. Well, says I, basically a man was murdered in there last February (the 19th, which is Becky's birthday oddly enough) for being gay. There are some pretty comprehensive news articles, I'll give you three: toilets to be demolished, murder trial, bid to close gay haunt. Have a read if you want to find out what happened, what people have said. I heard that the man was stabbed in the bum... this was clearly a grossly exaggerated rumour - unless the police didn't wish to disclose such a nasty way to go.

See, so this is why it was closed. But, just a few months after the murder - before the trial even - the toilets were re-opened in June 2008. Because of demand. Demand for these awful toilets to be opened. And before you begin to think that I just don't want gay people to meet up - I would love them to meet up! Meet up everywhere, go for it, go forth and prosper, have some fun! But not here. Not only is it such an obvious place - children use the toilet, people who just need a wee or a poo use the toilet, dog walkers are always about, regular walkers not far behind, families wanting to enjoy a nice walk by the river - but it is also the place of a BRUTAL MURDER. People are unphased by this. Whenever grizzly murders take place, the places where they happen are, more often than not, demolished; why should it be any different for the Cowey Sale toilets? Just because they are a place of sordid convenience (I say sordid because anything like that - straight or gay - happening right under people's noses is not a nice thing). This is the only reason. The only person to applaud the toilets being re-opened was a spokesperson for a gay group in the area. It is clear why he would applaud it.

But why would he want to applaud it? There is no merit in these toilets whatsoever. I have to admit, I know this because we sat in that car park yesterday for a good hour. We saw people go into the toilet, normally, and come out a minute later. On the other hand, we saw people go in and not come out, for the entire duration we were there. One man parked up next to us, eyed us up for a few minutes - as if judging something - and then got out and walked to the toilets; now, when people walk to go to the toilet, there is something purposeful about their walk, something desperate in the bladder area which makes them walk with more of a stride. This man sauntered, casually as you can imagine, hands in pockets, to the toilet. And he didn't come out either. I thought, "What is so good about these toilets?" So I walked over and went in.

They are a shit hole. They are dilapidated. They absolutely stink. They look like something out of Silent Hill. They are disgusting. They are dirty. They are in disrepair. And, in there, it definitely feels as if a man has been stabbed. Back or bum - makes no difference to me: it is still a stabbing, and a fatal one at that. It is a horrible, horrible place. This makes me think they should be closed. Anyway, I did need the toilet, so I went, didn't even bother with the sinks because they made me want to vomit out of my eyeballs, and left the toilets. Howwwever, I went round the back of the toilets, because earlier we had seen a couple of guys emerge from the toilets and disappear round the back. There was nothing, so I began to walk back to the car. As I did, I looked back, and I saw a man emerging from one of the archways of the brick part of the bridge which is on the land. He didn't look dressed to be adventuring in the shrub-scrubbery, in fact, he was wearing jeans - nice ones - and a smart looking short sleeved pink-and-something shirt. I returned to the car. The girls said that the man behind me had re-entered the toilets.

We saw another strange thing yesterday. Two men pulled up to the Cowey Sale toilets in a car, with a huge dog in the back; one was a huge, no-shirted, bald, tattooed man who looked like his dog; the other was small, scrawny, older, with mad hair, a moustache, glasses, wearing a plaid shirt underneath a tracksuit...? Very odd. Anyway, these struck our attention, but according to our now veteran-esque experience of those toilets, neither was in there long enough for any 'business' to be happening. After this I went into the toilets, etc. etc. Anyway, we drove away (nothing much was happening anymore) and ended up on Desborough Island (nicknamed 'Donkey Island' - with reference to certain men's members, or just the animal, I don't know). This island is another notorious spot for dogging and other things related. There is basically a one-way road that runs onto the island, and then off again. During the course of this road there are waterworks, a few roadside car parks, and you can see that there are a few secluded paths leading off into vegetation. At the first car park we saw a man literally just standing there watching the road and a path behind him, looking, as you can imagine, very shady. Very murky. Next car park. Who did you see? you ask. Well, I says, the dynamic duo from Cowey Sale! The dogmen! Little and large! The bear and his bitch, perhaps. Needless to say, we were very scared, and hurried on.

Basically, this was all to let you know that if you look a little closer at things, and concentrate just a little more than usual, you can see all sorts of things going on in places that you just wouldn't dream of things like this ever occurring. I don't disagree with it. I just hate the Cowey Sale toilets. They aren't even nice. Please, people-that-way-inclined of Walton! of the whole world! Please meet in nicer places - surely there is no need for seediness? The Elmbridge Borough Council reckons that the toilets will only be demolished in 2012, when the Walton Bridge project is finalised, after fifty ridiculous years, after my mum and her family essentially had to kicked out of their house 40-ish years ago because they were going to build more on it - bollocks, those houses are still there, and not in the way at all.

The council is just a very slow, doddery old man. This is how it is. Things take a large portion of time to happen. There is a lot of bureaucracy involved. Buildings can't just be knocked down. It needs votes. Petitions. And I can imagine the gay community being upset - I know! UPSET? Over what exactly? That they can no longer meet in the most disgusting place in Walton, the scene of a murder of a gay man by a straight, gay-hating man? Oh, please. It is not a part of society, it is a toilet, for God's sake, a TOILET. I am not saying that gay culture should not be a part of society (let's embrace it!) but what I am saying is that these seedy, excuses for meeting-places should be closed indefinitely. Straight or gay, things like this shouldn't happen.